Next up is the second article I had published, which appeared in both Unity and Be-mag back in 2004. Again, I am perfectly happy to raise my hands and confess that I have pontificated to the point of masturbation on this one. However, a very good friend of mine Alistair Allan provided the artwork you see for this article which I now have framed in my flat. At least some good came of my overzealous ranting. Interesting fact, as well as being a great artist, Alistair is also an amazing skateboarder. Just goes to show, they're not all bad...

Something Isn't Right

How many times have you been out skating and seen one of those signs? You know the ones I mean. The kind that look down on you with scorn and resentment, like a businessman passing a homeless person on the street on his way to work. The signs that tell you your passion, your belief structure, your way of life, is wrong. Every time skaters venture into a city centre metropolis, they are frequently confronted by notices put up by city councils and private businesses, which tell us that what we do is simply unacceptable in contemporary society. They usually say something to the same effect as, "skateboarding and rollerblading in strictly prohibited etc. etc." But why?

Criminal Damage?

In cities such as London and Manchester, putting on a pair of rollerblades risks the possibility of being prosecuted. If you are found to be skating on a company's private property or a crowded public area in either of these cities, you are liable for a fine to the extent of two hundred pounds and possibly even arrest. I have personally witnessed such occasions and have been thoroughly disgusted by the lack of tolerance for something that is so innocent and harmless.

When asked why such measures of punishment are deemed necessary, I was informed that skating is considered "criminal damage to private and public property". Really? Let's look at this logically. If that remark is in reference to grinding then it is simply ridiculous, as the surfaces that skaters use, such as concrete ledges and metal handrails, cause more damage to their skates than their skates cause to the surfaces. Think about it, concrete and metal versus plastic and urethane? It's not really much of a contest. What I was most intrigued by was the latter part of the statement made by the police officer, concerning public property. Surely public property is for everyone's use? Evidently not.

I would understand if there was concern for public safety but even then there is little issue for debate as the only people in any danger of getting hurt are ourselves. After all, we are the ones throwing ourselves down these obstacles. The main idea that these signs put across is that rollerblading is something that should be considered illegal, like the signs you see in public parks that tell dog owners to clean up their pet's excrement because to do otherwise is to litter. Apparently when you put on a pair of rollerblades you are no longer worthy of the term "citizen". In wearing skates you become demoted to the category of common criminal and vandal. Having wheels under your feet is almost as incriminating as carrying a concealed weapon or can of spray-paint.

A waste of our money and their time

You have got to question what exactly is going on in a country where the government chooses to waste tax payer's valuable money on erecting signs that are not only unnecessary but are absolutely useless, as they do little to deter skaters from proceeding to ride the property regardless. Surely that money could be used to provide something a little more beneficial to the community?

Consider how much money it would cost to produce at least five hundred signs (that's just to cover the inner city of London alone) and then think about the amount of money it would cost to pay someone an hourly wage to put them all up. Note: Despite what most people may think, council workers receive a fairly generous hourly wage. So let's take the council worker's hourly wage, multiply that by the hours it would take to drive around and attach them all to posts and walls, then add that to the amount it would cost to produce the damn things in the first place. That adds up to a lot of money wasted for a meaningless purpose. It just doesn't make any sense. I'm sure if the councils informed their citizens of exactly how much money they wasted each year on such a pointless concept, the local residents would be far more outraged by such a terrible waste of their hard earned salary as opposed to being resentful towards us for simply putting some scrapes on a few handrails. After all, we're not the ones throwing away their money for something which could be better used to improve their way of life.

Something more appropriate

For arguments sake, let’s say these signs were effective and people did actually take notice of them, there must be signs that would be of a higher priority than ones that tell kids not to rollerblade. For example, I have never once seen a "No Littering" sign, yet every time I have been in a city centre I have observed rubbish, broken glass and cigarette ends as far as the eye can see. I have also never seen any signs saying "No Vandalism" yet every inner city train station and alley have gratuitous amounts of hideous graffiti and tags which make the city look unpleasant and unsafe.

More importantly, I have never once seen a sign which deals with Britain's greatest problem; alcohol abuse. Have you ever seen a sign that says "No drunken fighting or disorderly behaviour"? I didn't think so. Yet these are serious problems that our society faces that need to be addressed and dealt with, not a few kids on skates having some fun. For crying out loud, people are dying out there some weekends as a result of pointless, drunken brawls, yet we are being punished for doing something that is of risk to no one's health but our own. We're not in anyone's way. We're not trying to cause any trouble. All we want is our own little dwellings in the seemingly limitless area that a city provides. The only thing rollerbladers are guilty of is the desire to experience rapture. That doesn't sound unreasonable to me. I must be wrong.

Regardless we persist

Despite these set backs, we continue to thrive, both as an increasingly recognised culture and as a rapidly progressing extreme sport. Fines, confiscation of property and even arrest has done little to reduce our enthusiasm as, every weekend, all across the country, thousands of people venture into their nearest city to meet up with friends and skate their favourite spots. Our passion is too strong to be extinguished by the narrow-minded opinions of those who have seemingly forgotten what it was like to be young and adventurous. These people who stand in our way should not be looked at with anger and frustration but rather with pity and empathy, as they cannot see they are the ones who are wrong. It is them who have lost their way and somehow forgotten what it was like to indulge in the purest of experiences: Fun. So let them take away our spots. Let them put caps on the rails and blind person bumps at the top of stair sets. We'll simply find other ways to skate the obstacles or find entirely different spots altogether. Either way, we're not going away and that's something they're just going to have to accept.

The Academic Dispute

The photo above was taken when I met Eric Bailey back in 2006 at the Amsterdam IMYTA before everyone found out what I knew as soon as I watched his REJECTS profile. Eric Bailey is the future of rollerblading...

Below is one of the first articles I ever had published in a skate magazine back in 2003. Reading it now, it's pretty embarrassing to realise that I am guilty of milking the hell out of my mental thesauraus. Why I felt the need to use complex words and phrases when simple substitutes would have sufficed is beyond me. At least I can appreciate now how pathetic it was for me to try and impress an audience with words that most people will never (and should never have to) encounter in their entire lifetime.

It is also quite funny because the point I was trying to make at the time has no merit now. I was attempting to display that those winning skate competitions are not the icons of our sport because at that time the people winning ASA and X Games events were people like Cesar Mora, Jon Bergeron and Matt Salerno (people who never appeared in magazines of videos). However, this is no longer true because outstanding figures in our sport, such as Chris Haffey, Brian Aragon and Eric Bailey are dominating the competition circuit. Oh well...

Enjoy...

The Academic Dispute

The scholastic system is flawed beyond all logical comprehension. It's not that the teaching method is faulty but rather the way in which its success is weighed. Students are unfairly judged by their performance in trivial exercises such as tests and exams. The scores they receive measure the merit of their knowledge. This harsh injustice means that "good" students are the ones who perform well under the strenuous circumstances of these procedures whereas "bad" students are the ones who do not. The conjecture behind this way of determining a person’s academic merit is defective as a student may possess vast knowledge on the chosen subject they are studying but are merely unable to cope and function well under the strain of examination conditions. Thus, poorer students reap the benefits of composure and are rewarded simply because they are able to focus when faced with distraction. Such methods are terrible ways of measuring someone's intellectual ability.

The exact same problems exist in rollerblading on the part of the ASA and competitions such as the X Games. A skater’s ability is put under intense scrutiny during a 90 second run in which they must display style, creativity, and difficulty as well as consistency. When you are standing at the top of a quarter pipe with the sun bearing down upon you like a large spotlight, knowing that not only do you have the undivided attention of all your peers, but also thousands of spectators who may or may not laugh if you go down on your face, as well as television cameras which broadcast internationally in every home, in every country in the world. Pressure tends to make it ever so slightly difficult to stay focused. Hence, the examination theory intervenes. Good skaters whose vast vocabulary of tricks on handrails, ledges, and large gaps earned them the envy and admiration of skaters everywhere are undermined when they receive poor scores from biased judges who claim they are judging on ability when they are actually judging on composure.

This is why the skaters who win events such as the X Games and the ASA comps are not the best skaters in the world. They are just the best competitors. This is a common misconception on the part of the media and the Aggressive Skaters Association who honestly believe they are awarding first place to the best skater when that is simply not the case. Such events are an insult to our culture as they are NOT street skating competitions. I have never seen a quarter pipe or launch ramp at any urban street spot. Nor have I ever witnessed a spine ramp or bowl positioned next to a stair rail or ledge and I hope I never do, as it would destroy the essence of what street skating is all about. It is the opportunity to explore our imaginations by using objects meant for other purposes for our own enjoyment. It is unjust to claim that these tests of a skater's ability are street events as real street skaters are ill equipped to compete due to the lack of such obstacles on real streets. They should be called PARK competitions, as it is only park skaters that fully benefit from such organised commercial showcases.

The real innovators of skating, the icons that shape the face of our lifestyle, are the ones who are doing so at inner city sites across the world. In the sole presence of their friends, fellow skaters and maybe one or two cameras. Not thousands of screaming spectators who are ignorant to what they witness, believing that the skaters who do the highest airs and the most flips possess the most ability. These icons I speak of are the ones appearing in videos, magazines and even on the Internet. They are the ones who are earning respect due to their unquestionable talent and commitment to furthering a movement that we can call our own.

There are no spotlights on real street with innumerable cameras blinding our approach to obstacles with their flashes. The ASA has no right to claim they are the voice of skaters as they represent the core of what is wrong with skating. The reason rollerblading is so appealing to so many of us is because of its limitless opportunities. There are no rules, regulations or boundaries. There is no right or wrong way to do something. There is only the way you see fit. Geniuses are not always the ones who perform well in schools. Many of the world's great philosophers never even went to school. Rollerblading is a reflection of this. The people who have helped shape our industry and skating itself are not the ones on the podium receiving the gold medal. They are the ones we encounter every day on our travels in search of new places to skate and see in our favourite videos. If we continue to let such organisations dictate the way OUR culture should represent itself we may as well be like football of any other sport, as we will merely be allowing ourselves to be dictated.

Refrain from drowning in the pool of other people's ignorance.